It isn't, it couldn't be, that is me?
No, I refuse to accept that
it is an illusion.
Mud spattered image, a heap on the floor,
the last groveling bit of humanity
Unworthy.
It makes me angry to see that heap,
I would pile it up and kick it,
grab a hold of the mass of ugliness and throw.
I would look in the mirror
to see something else.
A shining bit of polished person,
a bit of worthy matter
to walk around in.
Sad that life's controlling circumstances can bring us to such low places at times.
ReplyDeleteBut even in those lowly of times and feelings, that polished person is still there underneath the muck and mud. She writes and creates beauty, therefore she is of beauty.
ananji
Annie- a person should never believe images projected through other's mean eyes. A lot of raw honesty in this. Had to dig deep, but found hope in it. for instance, the second line. See ya later~rick
ReplyDeleteThank you Ananji, thank you a lot, you are a good friend.
ReplyDeleteRick, yes, others eyes. Yet I also mean this as a rejection of the unworthy beliefs that I nurture at times about myself. The ugliness that keeps me from being who I want to be. Ugliness in thought and action. The feelings of unworthiness of being. The feelings of being different from others and thus not as good. This is looking at rejection from myself and others and not accepting it anymore, throwing it out as far as I can and perhaps trying on a new image, an image of being whole, good, and worthy that I can walk with and keep no matter who I talk to. How many times I am rejected, or what other peoples opinions are of me, as an essence not as the stupid things that I sometimes do, mistakes that I make, and failures on my part to be better. I could have expanded this poem, and might take up the theme another time, but I like it where it is right now. Thanks for reading and the appreciation.
SG
It is good to see who you really are when you look in the mirror, but it is even better to believe that this can be changed.
ReplyDeleteAnnie- it's so hard to maintain a good balance. to not make ouselves of no worth or think too much of ourselves. Middle is so hard. Take care. ~rick
ReplyDeleteIt's awful when people view themselves with such gloomy eyes, if only we could see how lucky we are to just 'be', to have blood flowing through our veins, to be able to bask in sunlight and taste food, hold our loved ones, speak our mind...
ReplyDeleteI have been looking in the same Mirror as you SG, and have been so hurt, angry and confused, trying to see what some see in me that I did not. Being hurt over and over truly brings one down, we get off balance.
ReplyDeleteYour mirror is polished, it is reflecting back good images, of a good person, find her she is there. I See HER, and I am smiling..
Wow, Annie, although I wish the sentiments were otherwise, this is one helluva powerful poem.
ReplyDelete"I would look in the mirror
to see something else.
A shining bit of polished person,
a bit of worthy matter
to walk around in."
Packed a punch.
It is the human condition to be fallible, to screw up. It's how we learn that makes beauty. You are beautiful. Be good to yourself.
xo
erin
FishHawk, what I try to see in the mirror is potential, what can be. I try to overlook temporary problems with my skin, hair, and body. I try to see what I could look like through others eyes if I am courageous enough to face the world even when I am feeling low.
ReplyDeleteRick, yes, you've got it! The middle ground is hard. To see yourself as someone worthy and good without vaulting yourself up or lowering yourself as well... that is a hard place to get at.
Nana, such lovely sentiments. I absolutely agree.
Inky, thank you so much, that does my heart so much good to hear. I see you as well, you are beautiful!
Erin, thank you, I thought of your style a bit when I wrote this (I recall a poem about a lump...). I thought of the imagry when I was struggling to kick out a bit of depression after being turned down for yet another job (by a bunch of kids). I know that there is so much more to me than the temporary rejection and the imperfect job interview. I will do better on the next interview I know I will.
Be good to yourself as well, all of you.
SG
Powerful and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Freud, is it my ego, super ego, or id showing here? ;D
ReplyDeleteI like the message in this piece! It is quite unusually put! As Rick rightly put it, being in the middle is hard. Keep writing SG!
ReplyDelete