Where is my heart?

Where is my heart?

This is my companion, a keening search for self

Trying to define 

My smile

Deep mystery

Deep

Deep 

Deep soul

Searching constantly

for the pieces

Spread throughout the world

Written down 

spoken 

By others

passing words on their lips

thoughts on paper

A piece of me

I am

Reflected in your smile, your laughter

Ever searching

So many places

Scoured

for the source of myself

balm for my heart

Not whole

Pieces of my soul

spread thin

Written down

or spoken

Where can I find my heart? 

I have searched in caverns of wonder, I have listened to the wind

I have felt a disjointed prayer as I searched in the woods. 

Can I join in communion, with the laughter of the angels?

A little

Where is my heart?

It is aching in my chest

Poked and bleeding 

As I turn the pages of the pictures on the screen 

It is filled with echos

of wonder

birth

love

It is sitting here with me at my desk

In a world where heartache 

is hard to escape.

Futility

There's nothing left to do

words have been spoken

Whispers

between lovers, between friends

Certainty is broken

some things end

we move on

Memories fade away

and there's no reason to keep remembering

connections that are lost

lost

tears can't bring them back

nor thoughts of the past

wishes cannot make our friendship last.

and distance brings a different world

you walk there

I here

and it's better that your parents smile

and sister

what more could I wish

than your happiness, however it is found

sending my thoughts out to you, in the void

hearing nothing

seeing nothing

continuing is foolishness

Irrationality

The rational mind
thinks it knows

how life should be

It describes
moving on
circumstances and changes

It is the arbiter of life
directing what it feels to be

right

good

Proper

Emotions

Ignore all that

the wishes of the rational mind.