Almost a Thing

Never fought, no we never fight, fold our hearts up, tuck them in, avoidance.

What does it signify, the praying Mantis? It stabbed me with its claw

Weakness, or is it self preservation, a front?
Can you see the sharp claws hidden?

There is no reason,
it just happened to begin that way,
a shivering of fantasies up my spine and down again.

So sly, a glance between moments
eyes that linger, savor, caress

Pinpoint the attraction, I cannot
fill in the meaning between the lines,
is it there?

Brush against me, scent of sanity,
taste the sweetness upon my lips.

Insane

Flowing freedom of silence,
does it mean anything to you?

The darkness and the moon,
snuff out the meaning, an illusion.

Risk everything, upon the vision,
you, shimmering in the night.

Fleeting

There is a moment where in weariness you look out at the world and plead, plead for a taste of fresh forgotten youth. Or is it home that you are longing for?

Either way it comes to me in the midst of the night as I'm bumping about the house hoping to catch a moment of the past lurking in the corner.

I catch a bit of it here, a bit there

Sometimes though I wonder what happened to the wonder

Little potato bugs rolled up in a ball, water skeeters, the flow of a sudden stream in the gutter off into the unknown regions of tomorrow. 

Remember watching leaves and sticks flow away in the current? Life is like that

Swiftly passing by, headless of the obstacles

You cannot grasp onto the stationary semblances of the past, the current is too strong

Hopefully though, I will be like the rough cut stone, which when tossed about will become a shining gem.

Awareness of God

Can we rely on how we feel at the moment?

All that we have really are vague impressions, sacred hope.

Hope for equality in a better world,

hope that someone, somewhere understands.

That you and I will be seen in the whole and judged accordingly,

each salient breath brings us closer to the end, the unknown.

How ironic that we all eat of death daily; what was once living, breathing, turning towards the sun to grow, is the substance of our lives.

What magic the elements make on our bodies, transforming each thing from its former state into a new state, or the old state, the simple product of chemical reactions.

Dragonfly, leaves, rotting fish, to dust. Dust which in turn blows about, mixed in good measure with rain and the process of photosynthesis to become new again.

All that being said; Where comes the spirit? Where is faith?

It comes from the unexplainable awareness of you,

your thoughts, turned messages in my heart.

Awareness of your presence in my darkest hour.

Awareness as the hushed silence is filled with a new cry.

Awareness that my dear grandmother would die, I knew, though I don't know how I knew.

A deep aching sadness felt at the passing of a loved one, hidden connections between you and the ones that you love.

Tears that come as solemn hymns are sung and truth is spoken.

All evidence to me of the living, breathing reality of God.

More Thoughts on Affluenza

Do you have too much on more than one occasion I feel like I have too much. Too many books, too many clothes, too much food even (because sometimes I don't plan very well).

I don't like having too much, it bothers me because it makes it hard to appreciate what you have and it makes it difficult to make decisions.

What do I mean? Well take the situation some ladies have when they have too many purses or shoes. They don't want to give them up because this or that purse or pair of shoes should go with this or that outfit. So you see some shoes you want or like and forgeting that you have just about the same pair of shoes at home you buy the shoes, wasting money on a pair of shoes you didn't really need (or a purse). Where is the sense of that?

So when I get in the postion of having too many clothes or what not, I purge and get rid of the excess.

What about too much food? Sometimes, because I love to cook, I buy produce for something I want to cook. Then being frugal I get home and notice that the leftovers for yesterday are enough for dinner today and should really be eatten now. Then my appetite changes and I no longer want what I intended to cook, so I have ingredients for a dinner that will never come to pass. A lot of times I go with my creativity and mix things up and use what I have, but sometimes I throw out food that should have been ate. Then there is the case of having too many desserts, you snack on dessert or whatever all day then you wont be hungry for dinner.

If you have too much food, it's more likely you will have too much weight to go with it.

I always think about things as, "Do I have enough?" If I have clothes, food and a roof over my head I am happy. Think of the endless amount of learning that is wasted because of all of the unread books on your shelf. Think of all the wasted money from food you cannot eat. What about the fully finished house that you had to have, the high end car, can you take it with you?

I am a minimalist, or I try to be. What do you minamally need? Do you really have a right to endlessly consume? Really?

Well think about this...

For the past, however long, builders have been building houses. Not starter houses, but fully finished (may be poor quality, but finished) houses. No starter houses? Why? Because the profit margin on a starter house is too low for them (or I should say was). So they glutted the market with houses. People playing along, not content to build there life up from where they are, decide they need the fully furnished (bought on credit) 7 bedroom house because others are doing it and they should be able to have a new house, of course they feel they deserve it. Plus as I said all the furniture, the best car, the newest fashions, the best toy's for their kids, the best vacations. Consume, consume (it's good for the economy anyway right?). So what do we end up with, a glut of houses, people losing their homes, all of their furniture . . . basically their freedom. Did it only affect them? Not at all!! The spending of money that everyone didn't have artificially increased the amount of all goods on the market. Increased the cost of living, doing business and the toll on the planet. So if you wanted to be the responsible one saving your money to put a down payment on a house, forget it. If you want a house you have to do like everyone else because $40,000 down or so is extremely hard to do. People borrowed all right!! From everyone else not only today but from everyone in the future. How fair is that?

Think about the garbage dumps full of 1 time use or limited use trash. What would happen if the garbage trucks didn't pick up the trash for 1 week, or 1 month or a year. How would you deal with your garbage then?

So my philosophy, is the environmentalist philosophy, Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. It is not only the way to save the planet, but it is also the way to save your money and your freedom.