Grains of sand

Time

a devourer

tears away at our memories

each year

they flap resolutely 

in the sands of time

fresh at first

then tattered

We

grasp at the memories

trying to feel

the shape of them

yet they sift through our fingers

as sand

Sensing

I see castles in my mind, a dark corridor where I travel

I glimpse small bits of history

they stir something in me, a reaching after the past.

The fading wall paper, the empty rooms, the paint worn away on the stairs.

I feel, that if I sit for a while among it all

I will hear the echos of voices, long gone, and the tread of foot upon stair.

I run my fingers along the bricks

joined together with mortar and spikes of wood,

there, at the corner.

I feel the rough wood of the ancient house and press my palm to it

there is a sense of the person who carved this piece of wood,

I want to know them.

Feeling and standing, trying to sense those spirits

an elusive art

My awe and reverence are my personal memorial,

though others also stand and gawk.

It reminds me a bit of the fairies I used to conjure with my brother,

out in the quiet woods.

You give me that feeling, at times

Can history answer for things as they are today?

Walking through the silent somber halls of the ancient ruins

I slide my hand along the stones

feeling in a sense that I can pick up the presence

of those who have walked there before.

Another visitor

the ancient lord or lady

or even the wind

which holds all within it's invisible grasp and passes over all, eventually.

Fleeting thoughts permeate all we encounter.

we only leave a small sense

of who we are.

Unshed Tears

Sadness is clinging

to the end of my thoughts

like thick, dripping glue

welling up in my heart

coating

the images and intentions

suspended

as unshed tears

The psyches recognition

of the words

that I'm not speaking

The things

I regret

the things I cannot change.

Trapped

at the end of my thoughts

The truth

I cannot speak

held

lest my heart falls apart

Playful Words

A fleeting thought across my mind

like a leaf in the wind

on a restless night

Little pieces of poetry

caught between

the awareness 

of you and I

Laughing 

I snatch at the words

holding them 

between

my lips

you snatch them away

kissing each 

as you give them back to me

I admire each one

and tuck them safe

in my heart.

Mine. I tease.

You smile
and give me more.

Gathered Pebbles

I gathered pebbles while walking in a stream this summer

talking things over with my cousin

each rock represents a moment

a bright color, against dark earth

almost I see my bared feet in mud

the water running freely past

I hear the conversation

a flow of insight

ideas plucked out of the dark void

shared

our secrets safe

between her and I

Shadows

This work-a-day life
what does it mean?
what should it mean?

I glimpse shadows moving over verdant hills
wind blowing through the trees
stirring things up

and my soul stirs
a bit

I thought
at one point
that life would mean something more than this

When the thought of adulthood was
the shimmering goal

I don't often find myself running out to play
that is the real loss I think

Dream Catching

Short poem (somewhat) following Anapaestic structure.

My days are full, somehow I get lost, in all the noise
Turning tides follow, each passing hour, still poised
easier to stay moored, than break away, tied to the hope
of safety here, while my dreams drift, barely afloat
sometimes I see, each drifting dream, gleam and shine
I would catch them, if I could find the time

Star Dust Souls

To burn brighter and hotter than stars and suns,
even in the vastness that is devoid of warmth
is in of itself a beautiful thing

beauty somehow captured in the souls of mortal beings,
star dust made manifest...

Universe to universe,
soul to soul,
stardust to stardust.

Little Dreams

I feel a little sick this morning
upset stomach
new medication
for an old problem

The feeling is familiar
somehow
I feel nostalgia
and determination

Like I want to cry
but I have work to do
no time to coddle
an achy old remembrance

I can't help but dream
on days like this
all the little dreams
that most days I forget

Borrowed Time

Everyone lives and dies

we each learn to love

and that love evolves

imprinting beauty

and pain

remembered in moments of silence

silence

I expect it

living on borrowed time

as we do

distance

and circumstance

truth

may bring an end

or

beginning

Our World

Time stands still, in our world

our creation

We hide together

in our blanket fort, discussing

nothing really

You kiss me from time to time

sparking the flames

as we move to lay under the stars

There are no cares, no other world

wind blows through the trees, crickets chirp

and I press a kiss against your temple

down to the base of your neck

your pulsing heart

quickens my own

as we disappear

into our world

The Dark Room

There is a room

hidden

obscured behind

tangled branches

deep in the woods.

The door handle is slimy,

inside

lies and every imaginable fear.

Some creep out to haunt me,

if I'm not wary

they escape.

There is loss

and shame,

guarded by a stubborn version

of my pride

guarding my heart.

If I am honest

that room

is closer than I like to admit.

Writing Challenge: Describe two shadows meeting in a moonlit forest

The night was darkening, the blades of grass were turning a beautiful cerulean blue as the sun hovered over the landscape. 

Evening was coming, but not quite here, an air of anticipation hovered in the air as the shadows moved across the field and into the forest. 

Lights were on in the woodcutters forest home, the stacks of freshly cut logs sat against the barn in neat rows and here as well the shadows moved, a phantom shading the spaces in between logs.

Off in the distance a hooded figure can be seen making their way across the field, walking steadily, with purpose. It looks like the destination may be deep within the forest since there was no slowing of step as they approached the perimeter of the forest without pause. 

Another shade emerges, the opposite of the first, an indistinct figure hugging the tree line and making it's way slowly as though following the first.

The forest is light as the moon and the sun hover on either sides of the sky, the first of the figures is stooping to pick something up, or to adjust their shoe. The second pauses in anticipation.

As though a signal had been given the first figure looks up and starts off again, looking from time to time up at the sky as though gauging the time by the rising moon.

Wind is rustling the leaves, and scampering animals show that there is life in these woods. Life awakening after a day of sleeping.

The second shadow is closer to the first than it previously had been, but is still a respectable distance away, still it is as though the second is following in the steps of the first dancing through the forest like a sprite on the water.

The moon is fully in the sky now, all is dark, except where rays of light penetrate through the thick branches.

The first shade is making camp, setting up for a fire, the second hovers on the edge, waiting.

A fire is lit, the first is revealed to be the rugged woodcutter. He looks up and says "so it's you?" 

Thinking of Forever

I feel the pressure

below my heart

in the pit

of my conscience

I need

an

explanation

for this loss

of self

the missing

piece

the terrified aching

sadness

that erupts when I think about

 forever 

Beautiful Connections

You are new to me

a rare find in the cosmos

As is the creation of our universe

with all the elements of life

Created by

A massive chain of events

forming connective

chains of amino acids

and sparks of new life

With all things against

the newness of creations

and connections

who knows what will survive?

Yet somehow

there are beautiful things

in a world that emerged

from an empty space

Travelers

We are traveling
a flash
bright lights

time is passing
marching by

I look up and sigh
the night is gone

a little dawn is breaking
grey dawn

the morning is crisp, fresh

day after day

time is passing
marching by

I can hear it
zipping underneath

subconscious

and I see the passing of place and time
from night to day

we are traveling

time is passing
marching by

I look
and sigh

Quiet

Can you sit a while with that uncertainty

that silence



the fear

Hear nothing and sweat
while your doubts, your fears, the chaos, the clamor
all rise in your chest with a rising of panic and irrationality
your mind is a buzz, your stomach feels queer

Everything

every niggling doubt

begs for your attention

is it alright? am I OK? have I messed up?

all you hear is silence



silence



fear

Of Love

I have loved

a love of empathy

our connection, our beautiful children

I have loved mind to mind

heart to heart

across the world, a beautiful flame

I have loved

a beautiful soul

with a broken heart, that I couldn't mend

I have loved

some who have broken my heart

and still I love

across boundaries

across time

In spite of, and because of all I have loved.

Quotes

"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom, through the awful grace of God." ~Aeschyles

"Men want to speak, Woman want to be heard."

"The truth you speak has no past and no future... it is, and that's all it needs to be." ~Illusions

"In order to live, free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice." ~Illusions

"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life, so, aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something." ~Thoreau

"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be, now put foundations under them." ~Henry David Thoreau

Nameless

Nameless

I discarded my name

to take yours.

You took mine away

and didn't value it

tossed it aside

I was left with no name.

So I picked up an old one

It feels strange

Cold

Like I'm wearing old clothing

That I dug up from the attic

Musty and unused

Not quite right

I thought I had outgrown this name

But I guess I can make it fit.

Trying something new

Embarking

a new land

a new endeavor

old sadness follows,

calls me a fool

I can't say where this sadness is from

or how to rid it from my heart

and wash the doubts away

from my dreams

all I do, is tread lightly

and hope to accomplish

what I will

the one

First Published 8/18/2009

Probe this sadness, probe it with me
in hidden hollows, achiness, release.

Hollows hidden in my heart, sadness
I know not whence it came, whence it will go.

Together

Touch upon hidden places,
into and out of the corners.

Achy, pent up reserves of tears,
release them, explore them, taste them on your tongue.

Mourning, weeping, wailing.

Enter Thalia daughter of the goddess,
restore happiness unto me.

Thalia, restore happiness to my breast,
thou deity of old.

Restore my heart, return to me,
limbs torn asunder in the wind, through the storm.

Fresh, life
renew, eternity

The aching building dam of sadness,
awaken, awoken fresh fears.

Dead, you have gone and I am left empty
as though you had died, have you not?

Mourn with me, upon the mount,
thou living God, are you not the one?

I confess to have thought I felt you there,
for your arms I have sought.

Explore the depths of my mourning,
probe my heart, we join together,
harmoniously seeking the depths, despair.

Thou hast abandoned me, I am,
alone.

Explore this sadness, probe the depths
enter in, kiss my tears away.

Gasping I release the anger, the pent up tears,
hidden ecstasy, relieve my agony.

Together

Can I live, breathe, through you?
Release, relieve, mourning, weeping, wailing.

Fears, deep fears, narrowly escaped,
realization denied, Thalia cried

she had died.

Tread lightly, in the shadows
relieve the burden, upon my soul.