Eternal Girl

So late and my mind wanders

I recall the little girl

Inhabiting this body

Who weeped 

Throughout childhood 

Unable to understand, the others

Who struggled to answer 

For herself 

And saw books as portals 

Into other people's minds

I thought if I studied enough 

I could stop the relentless inadequacy 

I felt 

If only I could learn enough 

To free myself from obligation 

I could do what I wanted then

I wished for love 

But was used

And the relentless call to learn 

Did not end 

I lay here holding my own slender hand 

Alone

I miss you 

I'm sure I am a fool 

Eternally questioning 

My broken heart