Searching

When I think of all the years I've searched,

all the men I've met,

and all the heartbreak I've suffered.

I wonder why it's been so hard.

However much I tried,

There always seemed to be something I lacked,

Something I'm not 

and that I'll never be 

Which led me to doubt,

about who I am,

what I'm not,

and who I want to be.

I discarded pieces of myself,

and tore apart my personality 

Looking for the weaknesses.

I called myself pathetic,

boring,

and I thought 

no wonder I can't find the one.

I bought new things

threw my old stuff away 

Looking to buy my personality,

off a store shelf.

But I got tired of my new self

It's exhausting, 

trying to keep up a facade.

My old self crept back in 

I let her sneak past the store bought self,

and I wrapped her up in a fuzzy blanket.

We watched hobbits,

and ate popcorn, 

which made me smile. 

I made friends with myself again 

I'm never going to let her go. 

Irony

Sometimes I feel like there's a subtle irony to life

That day upon day can pass 

Pain felt 

Or elation 

You can have it all within your reach

Or cannot see a way out on the horizon 

Then all at once, you'll have it all 

Or nothing 

Sometimes you get what you wanted 

But not what you need 

Or what you needed, but not what you wanted 

And you have to tuck away a little piece of your hope

Your happiness 

Your heart

Because, though you might wish for one thing

You're given another 

Wash Away

Wash away your tears 

and let go

Sometimes, many times 

Things don't work out 

That's okay 

Don't give up on love

By holding on too tight

Wash away your tears

Love still awaits

And if you love 

It doesn't go away 

Remember that 

True love 

Stays

Even if you can't hold on

To the one you love

If they love you too

It doesn't disappear 

let go, when you have to 

True love is deeper than that

It's better 

Safer

Real

Wash away your tears

and let go 

It will be alright