Until

Most of the time, I'm fine, until

I remember greeting you at the airport, the tight hugs, the long kisses

I'm fine, until

I recall how perfectly my hand fit in yours, how we matched strides as we walked, how I fit in your arms

But I'm fine, until

I remember the way you walk into the room, enthusiasm and joy in each step

and the way you greet your dog

and peanut butter kisses in the morning

I'm fine though, really, until

Fleetwood Mac plays, or Eddie Rabbit, or any other song we listened to

I'm fine, I wrap myself up in my world, my home and family and I think of how wonderful Utah is

Until I think of hiking in the desert, up ravines, and finding flat rocks 

I'm fine, no really, it's OK 

Until I hook up Koru for a walk, and step out into the cold night and you are not on the phone to talk to

Then I go back to being fine, the world is a beautiful place, and there's so much here to love

Until

I realize again that you are gone, probably moving on, and I just have to find a way to be fine.