Anemoia

I saw myself 

In a video 

From a dark, dark time

A time when my tears

Outnumbered my joy

Religion told me I had failed 

Redemption meant

Begging on my knees 

And crying into the void

I had little 

Wedding presents in the closet 

Patched up couches in the carport 

Living in my childhood room

With two little babies 

An unfaithful husband 

And a broken heart

I see myself then, I see myself now

Who knew 

I would overcome all that

Yet love

eludes me

Am I a fool?

Afraid, though hopeful 

Still I don't know how long I can stand on the shifting sands

To see if bedrock lays underneath