I'm still looking for you
long after the heartbreak abated
after time passed
and winter faded
into spring
I search my memories, trying to recall
why I felt so close to you
I question, my judgement
you felt like, the one
I search, even though I know our time has passed
and searching is futile
there's nothing to grasp
yet there's an imprint of you on my soul
familiar
an echo
of love
I am a mother.
My purpose, my heart, my life has been given to my babies.
As each of you was born, as I carried you, I felt your presence, I heard your song, and I hummed along, attuned to the beating of your hearts.
To be a mother is to wrap your love around another and to nurture that life.
I was so young when my first was born. I was a baby, and yet I felt so strongly that I could be better than I was, that I would make my son proud.
It was hard; my world was so dark. I had so little to give at the time.
But I gave my heart, and I knew that I would learn how to be the person I needed to be. Each day was dedicated to that purpose.
Each child made my will grow stronger. My fierce love for them made me realize that I needed to learn how to turn away from what harmed them, and what harmed me.
Education was the answer for me. For each book I read and each thing I learned about health and life was for me and for them.
I tried so hard to keep my little family together. I tried.
The bravest thing I ever did was letting go of false ideals as I stood against the breach, going to work in the cold corporate world when I would rather have spent my life just holding my children and loving them.
But I am a mother, I am a woman, I stand when others fail because I could not let my children down.
And I don't know if they know this, but they gave me life as much as I gave it to them.
