Of Love

I have loved

a love of empathy

our connection, our beautiful children

I have loved mind to mind

heart to heart

across the world, a beautiful flame

I have loved

a beautiful soul

with a broken heart, that I couldn't mend

I have loved

some who have broken my heart

and still I love

across boundaries

across time

In spite of, and because of all I have loved.

Quotes

"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom, through the awful grace of God." ~Aeschyles

"Men want to speak, Woman want to be heard."

"The truth you speak has no past and no future... it is, and that's all it needs to be." ~Illusions

"In order to live, free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice." ~Illusions

"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life, so, aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something." ~Thoreau

"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be, now put foundations under them." ~Henry David Thoreau

Nameless

Nameless

I discarded my name

to take yours.

You took mine away

and didn't value it

tossed it aside

I was left with no name.

So I picked up an old one

It feels strange

Cold

Like I'm wearing old clothing

That I dug up from the attic

Musty and unused

Not quite right

I thought I had outgrown this name

But I guess I can make it fit.

Trying something new

Embarking

a new land

a new endeavor

old sadness follows,

calls me a fool

I can't say where this sadness is from

or how to rid it from my heart

and wash the doubts away

from my dreams

all I do, is tread lightly

and hope to accomplish

what I will

the one

First Published 8/18/2009

Probe this sadness, probe it with me
in hidden hollows, achiness, release.

Hollows hidden in my heart, sadness
I know not whence it came, whence it will go.

Together

Touch upon hidden places,
into and out of the corners.

Achy, pent up reserves of tears,
release them, explore them, taste them on your tongue.

Mourning, weeping, wailing.

Enter Thalia daughter of the goddess,
restore happiness unto me.

Thalia, restore happiness to my breast,
thou deity of old.

Restore my heart, return to me,
limbs torn asunder in the wind, through the storm.

Fresh, life
renew, eternity

The aching building dam of sadness,
awaken, awoken fresh fears.

Dead, you have gone and I am left empty
as though you had died, have you not?

Mourn with me, upon the mount,
thou living God, are you not the one?

I confess to have thought I felt you there,
for your arms I have sought.

Explore the depths of my mourning,
probe my heart, we join together,
harmoniously seeking the depths, despair.

Thou hast abandoned me, I am,
alone.

Explore this sadness, probe the depths
enter in, kiss my tears away.

Gasping I release the anger, the pent up tears,
hidden ecstasy, relieve my agony.

Together

Can I live, breathe, through you?
Release, relieve, mourning, weeping, wailing.

Fears, deep fears, narrowly escaped,
realization denied, Thalia cried

she had died.

Tread lightly, in the shadows
relieve the burden, upon my soul.

Some fun thoughts

Most fun thing you have done? 
Scariest?
Wildest? Most embarrassing?

My brother and I were always cooking up crazy schemes... I think the craziest was the zip line we built. My Dad conveniently had 30+ feet length of rope and we had a large parcel of land out behind our house with really tall trees and junk that people threw over the fence. So we took the rope and detached bicycle handle bars and made a zipline. Basically tied it to the top of the tree and repelled down and tied it to another tree. That's just about the scariest thing I've done as well!

Wildest, refer to previous story... Haha we've got plenty more adventures like that. Most embarrassing... Geez um I usually get into embarrassing situations... Like the time I was at a laundry mat with my Dad and took a dump only to realize that there was no toilet paper. So I didn't know where my Dad was and I'm trying to figure out how to clean up and the conclusion was to take a bath in the sink... I'm 10 and tiny so it wasn't too far fetched right? Well I got in the sink and turned on the faucet, damn thing starts spraying everywhere. I'm panicking, Dad's still AWOL (and who wants to ask their Dad for toilet paper anyway?) water is spraying every where but I figure I am not going to get out of here without cleaning off. So I hop in the sink, clean up as best I can, and then hop out. Retreat to the corner where I had stashed my clothes on the filthy ground of the bathroom, realize that it's damn hard to put clothes on when your wet but what can you do? I then peeked out the door and when no one was looking bolted out to find my Dad. Dad was somehow oblivious to my wet clothes and we left. In the back of my mind was the sink spraying water everywhere.

Diagnostics of a Broken Heart

So far, so good

The bleeding's stopped, mostly

The pressure behind the eyes, diminished

Replacement fluids, started

Internal damage might be irreparable, there's scarring

A piece is missing, it can never be replaced

The patient is still vulnerable

Damaged