Dreams

Aug 18, 2009

Speak words so softly, the night has not yet passed,

my dream a reality that I have yet to grasp.

I walk among the mountain peaks, the mists and the sun rays through the clouds. I walk and the silence speaks, speaks to my heart, drawing the venom out, and I am left with conclusions.

The internal battle fought and I am aching, yearning for something, for joy and happiness to flow like milk and honey, to be filled from your presence, not drained.

I walk in silence, through the valley of eternal twilight where the crickets chirp all the day long, they search too for something that cannot be found on the grounds parched surface.

"You are mine" you growl, desperately you seek to keep me. Yet I cannot be understood with your eyes, I am a creature of light, a creature of words.

Happiness and true fidelity will only flow from me as the give and take of life is mediated through shared confidences and understanding.

If you want me you must speak sincere words of beauty and life, or else I die, shriveled up from neglect in a corner of your prized possessions.

I will lay down my downy dreamers head, to hide from you the tears that are caused by the stinging burn of a fire that takes and does not give.

I have stayed and I stay because you are ignorant and innocent, yet fire in love with water cannot be sustained.

My well is going dry

Balm of Friendship

What say thee, that trouble is brewing, troubled hearts?

Care thee not for the sorrows lain to rest?

Sorrows fully felt and dealt by the hands of capriciousness.

A heart once that broke, can never fully mend

but through the healing balm of a faithful friend.

Walking Away From Pain

Honesty, the best policy

at odds with a desire to hide

to protect others

from our unvarnished opinions

which are an incomplete picture of reality

we can't really hide

though we all play a game

where the truth is unspoken

yet we both know what's wrong

what hurts

we've all been hurt

I can see the hurt and pain

I know what those defenses are

I believe in you though, cast off all of that self doubt

It's hard, I know

Just walk forward

If you destroy yourself, then you destroy a part of me

I believe in you

Still

My Daughter

Your eyes hold visions of happiness

A sanction of life that recalls me to vitality.

My hopes and dreams alight

when you smile, when you laugh.

You are blooming, I have bloomed

the cycle continues

I recall you as a child

You recall me to childhood

The future manifests itself through the past

and we both grasp for the present to begin anew.

Dreams

In my dreams I turn towards you 

sleeping there an arms length away

I want to curl up beside you

you're so tantalizingly close

So I crawl over obstacles

and I reach you

but you turn away

I'm left grasping 

the empty air.

Until

Most of the time, I'm fine, until

I remember greeting you at the airport, the tight hugs, the long kisses

I'm fine, until

I recall how perfectly my hand fit in yours, how we matched strides as we walked, how I fit in your arms

But I'm fine, until

I remember the way you walk into the room, enthusiasm and joy in each step

and the way you greet your dog

and peanut butter kisses in the morning

I'm fine though, really, until

Fleetwood Mac plays, or Eddie Rabbit, or any other song we listened to

I'm fine, I wrap myself up in my world, my home and family and I think of how wonderful Utah is

Until I think of hiking in the desert, up ravines, and finding flat rocks 

I'm fine, no really, it's OK 

Until I hook up Koru for a walk, and step out into the cold night and you are not on the phone to talk to

Then I go back to being fine, the world is a beautiful place, and there's so much here to love

Until

I realize again that you are gone, probably moving on, and I just have to find a way to be fine.

Something Real

The days passed by too quickly, 

it's hard to notice that when dancing on the edge of ecstasy. 

The heady scent of you filled me, 

as we danced around the room, 

me up on tippy toes. 

The look in your eyes sent shivers down my spine 

and I wanted you, 

every time that you were near. 

I wanted to crawl up onto you, 

to feel you fill me up. 

Heart, body and soul

That aching need that could never be satiated by any other man. 

Without you in my life,

my heart aches.