Sometimes

Living can be draining 

Our work

Each day 

I long for the time 

When I was alive 

It was sweet 

Enervating 

Buzzing 

Obsession 

When I thought of you 

So, so much 

I thought 

This life is sweet 

So full

For a moment 

It filled me

With life

Then 

Reality returned

Living is draining 

Sometimes 

Searching

Nothing quite reaches that inner need

to fill the empty hours

to feel excitement and pleasure 

As once we did 

For all the searching in the world 

and none have met the requirements 

Falling short 

Of a feeling 

That we're all searching for 

Restless nights

As the little hope we had

Seems hollow 

Our time demanded 

From the soulless entity of the corporate machine 

Our hours stolen 

For less than they're worth 

Feeding a greed

That can never be satiated 

Leaving us at odds 

With who we should be 

A few of my favorite things

When I think of you, I think of certain things 

Fresh water, from a spring 

The scent of blooming trees 

The earth beneath 

Wide open sky

Wandering 

I think about holding your hand 

As we read the labels 

Of exotic plants 

Pulling in for a kiss

Before parting

I think of antiques

Sifting through treasures, from long ago 

Hot, stifling air, escape

And sharing my favorite food with you 

I love how you delight 

In flavor 

Mostly I think of all the ways 

That I feel in your presence 

How the fire is banked

But can easily be stoked 

To a flame

Worthy

Hey there 

Been a minute 

I lost myself somewhere 

In between 

And I know what you're going to say 

Look around 

You've made a pretty cool place 

In this world 

I have 

But I forget 

When the timelines are tight

The expectations high

The rewards low

So low that you would think my time wasn't worth much

But I know better 

I'm not fooled 

By theifs 

Who don't see my worth

My mind lives in this liminal space

I see possibilities where others cannot 

And I make them come to be

I know my worth 

I know 

Just a guy

Just a guy 

I thought was more 

A break from solitude 

I am

A stranger in the dark 

Yet longing 

Reveals 

The passion 

Banked

I want more

I remember the rhythm 

Remember how we moved 

Synchronized 

Longing 

Released

My god how good it felt 

To wrap around you 

To fit in your arms 

And breathe together 

So good to feel your skin on my skin 

And how we fit

Like lock and key 

To be entwined 

Souls mingling 

Hearts beating 

Together we could rule the world 

Solve the problems 

Fix 

Putting right the wrong 

But my heart

It's beating 

Here

Alone 

I'm sure 

I imagined it all

Metamorphosis

Think of how water flows 

A rivulet through dusty ground 

Making a path, when there was none

The air around us, holds secrets 

Of everything that has passed 

Through the world 

We feel separate 

As though no other 

Could understand 

Our thoughts, conducted

Through ancient clay 

and precipitation 

Though we seek to contain 

What we hold valuable 

Nothing is really our own 

All things are connected 

They belong to all

The illusion is that 

We are separate 

Captured - a millisecond - a millennium

Words

Typed out on a screen 

Meant to convey

A moment in time 

I grabbed your hand 

And together we walked with excitement 

To find a treasure 

Aware of the newness 

Of each other 

Bumping into each other 

Finding ways to connect 

The memory fresh

Of your kiss

Time 

Has captured that moment 

It lives still 

On my lips 

Imprinted 

Deep in my soul 

That moment lives

As it always will

Simplicity

 The purpose of our lives is never clear

A long time ago

Bonds formed an experiment that we know as, humanity

I've thought how, possibly, our ancestors rested more than we do

If that were so, we would have died out

A long time ago

Though there's a difference between burning out and working hard

We know they strove to improve things

Though the definition of what those things are has changed

That urge, to better ourselves, has always been there

and many tales warned against laziness, greed and corruption

It is not hard to find examples of exploitation throughout history

humanity has always been, complex

Ancient texts confirm this

and yet we ask, why we are here, what is the point?

It has always been simple, to those who value people over power

Authenticity, though a buzz word now, is still a concept I believe in

To find simple things, that bring me joy

To have the time to enjoy them

and a heart open 

though there's reason for it to be closed

This is the essence of life

Simplicity

and life go hand in hand

Wandering

Organizing 

If only I could grasp 

Enough of what I need 

I'll no longer have 

An empty 

Hole 

Where something should have been 

I'm whole 

But 

I lay awake 

Thinking of 

How I somehow 

Walked the path

To a door 

And it's closed

Prophecy

I lay awake in contemplation 

Of roads traveled

Portents seen 

An ending 

and a vision 

Passion that still haunts my dreams 

So much longing 

So aware 

Your kiss, your touch 

Intoxicating 

I really wish I didn't care

It is over, never ended 

Never to be seen again 

Heartbreak that my soul attended

Left unspoken 

On the air

Brains!

My brain wasn't very nice to me today 

It reminded me of things I've said 

In previous conversations

It reminded me that I've gained inches 

And pounds

It rebelled against 

Concentration 

Overextended my schedule 

By agreeing to do things

It has no intention of following up on

My brain is capricious 

It hides behind a fug of morning inertia 

Low down devil 

I'm going back to sleep!

Manifestation

I find myself drawn to the not so likely outcomes.

Impossibilities made possible 

Through grit

Vision

The ability to push on

Past doubts

Discouragement 

From our own mind

Or others 

I believe in manifesting 

But cringe 

When the implication is that thought alone 

Creates the vision 

I see manifestation 

As a vision 

That creates an action 

That true manifestation 

Is the ability to believe 

In what you're capable of 

Eternal Girl

So late and my mind wanders

I recall the little girl

Inhabiting this body

Who weeped 

Throughout childhood 

Unable to understand, the others

Who struggled to answer 

For herself 

And saw books as portals 

Into other people's minds

I thought if I studied enough 

I could stop the relentless inadequacy 

I felt 

If only I could learn enough 

To free myself from obligation 

I could do what I wanted then

I wished for love 

But was used

And the relentless call to learn 

Did not end 

I lay here holding my own slender hand 

Alone

I miss you 

I'm sure I am a fool 

Eternally questioning 

My broken heart 

This Damn Year

Finally 

This damn year

Is coming to an end

The hours

I've poured into 

Work

And 

Worry 

For what!? 

A small reward 

They say 

Don't work too much 

You'll miss your life

And yet

When trapped 

By circumstance 

You do the best you can 

My health 

My life 

Has slipped away 

This year 

Fustercluck 

Cluster 

Fluck 

The end 

Of it

Is terrifying 

What comes next

Hang on

An hour

A reprieve 

An hour 

Where I thought 

 it stopped 

But no

My body says 

No

 Whatever you are doing 

Is wrong 

Fix it 

 I don't know how 

Another night 

Fitful sleep 

I think this is just 

 How it is 

I wake up 

 Sore

Tired

 Aching 

It never stops 

Never 

 No 

Never 

Darkness

The full moon over Mt. Timpanogos Captured by Daniel Phillips

Darkness 

The darkest nights of the year 

have been lingering 

in our subconscious 

Echoes of history unfolding 

We witness 

Aware 

Of the significance of these dark nights 

We stand

Hearts 

Breaking 

Though we know, that great countries 

Have seen nights

Like this one

In winter 

The nights are long

To my family

 I think sometimes about reunions

where we kids could wander from campsite to campsite

and feel welcome

I think of early mornings

holding a place at the 4th of July parade

So that we could all sit together

I think of Aunts who watched me when I was little

Uncles teased me

All of the prayers of concern for each other

all of the efforts to make sure 

that we were OK

Right now

well

somehow

he

became this abstract concept 

this person 

that could do no wrong

after hearing gossip about people 

who did much minor things

I know that perhaps

you see him

differently

somehow

but I don't know how you could

he's bad

and the fact that you support him

makes me sad

The Reconing - Author Unknown

WORTH READING IN IT’S ENTIRETY:

The Reckoning-

I cannot let this day slip by

without shouting into the void of my disappointment.

The charges are gone, swept like dust under a gilded rug,

and yet the truth remains, burning:

He was guilty.

You know it.

I know it.

The weight of it presses against my chest,

how a man so stained could hold the reins again.

He ran for power to shield himself,

a crown to escape the scales of justice.

He will pardon himself,

stand smug on the green of manicured lies,

a golf swing on our dime,

while we watch,

while we ache.

Do you remember?

He told them to march.

I saw it.

I was there, and the echoes of that day

still ricochet in my mind.

I will not forget.

I will not forgive.

Not the man who lit the match,

nor the hands that handed him the flame.

You who cast your vote,

for cheaper gas, for eggs, for promises spun from deceit,

or worse—

you, who saw the ugliness and shrugged.

He is a bigot, and it didn’t stop you.

He is cruel, and you let it slide.

You looked away, silent, complicit.

And in that silence, the cracks widened.

The grave error was yours,

but I do not have the breath left

to plead with you to see.

I will watch as it unfolds,

as the curtain lifts on this tragedy we have built,

brick by brick, with our denial.

And when the moment arrives—

when the mask slips and the monster stands revealed—

it will be too late.

Do you see the bodies yet?

The ones already fallen,

the ones to come?

They are part of the price,

written in the fine print of your choices.

There is no blanket thick enough to hide under now,

no silence deep enough to escape the echo of what is coming.

None of us will walk away unscathed.

Not even you.

Author Unknown

Roots

There was a sturdy tree

It's roots were so deep in the earth

That no simple wind could fell it

Seasons came and went 

the rain was plentiful 

Sunshine too

The tree grew

The leaves at the top said 

We are the reason 

You exist 

The roots were fooled by the plentiful rain

They had been spreading wide

Instead of deep

the breeze fell the tree 

that had forgotten it's roots

Freedom

So we wait, with baited breath to see if there are enough of us to stand against the tide 

The waves of ignorance have been lapping at the shores

Waves of hatred, waves of anger 

Once again we've been beaten down 

Once again told our place 

We will not bow

To misogyny 

We stand!

Sisters!

We gather!

Women!

With many voices raised together we declare that we are free!

You cannot have my freedom 

I want none of your false "protection"

I am for liberty 

I am for truth 

And I have stood in the breech

Proclaiming 

Freedom!